Whattocareabout?

Being back at school, I am left to reevaluate the way in which I do things and why I do the things I do. Basic psychology says that a person's instincts never change. An introvert will always be inclined towards being an introvert and same with an extrovert (this is a less than perfect illustration of what i mean by "instinct"). I guess one thing I am striving to learn this semester is myself (because logic would tell me that my instincts never change, so all I really have to do is learn my instincts rather than form them)! The day I become an expert about Kyle; let go of all my false pretenses, which come with retrospective analysis; and actively seek to better myself of the sin (not personality faults) which corrupt my character, is the day I will truly know myself; thus I shall give the devil a run for his money. (cf. my instinct vs. appetite article two blog-posts lower)

I believe that a person succumbs to peer pressure because he does not know his limits and isn't self confident in his ability/desire to say "no." I do however know that almost 100% of children vow at one time or another in their life (perhaps when going through D.A.R.E.) to not give into the things which so ineluctably await them. therefore, one should assume that when a person learns about himself and quits living passively, he'll be much stronger of an individual. To tangent, I have studied and thought a lot about the process of enlightenment recently because it is believed that enlightenment comes from within and it is an act to which the "self" becomes evident. Enlightenment isn't a mystical concept, except thast it is the Holy Spirit who reveals rather that the "all."

So here's my plan: I will learn to listen to other people and not wait with something to retort. I will listen and invest my time to a select few individuals this semester and grow together with them. But lastly, I will not use any foreknowledge I have to "remove the speck from my neighbor's eye" because, I admit, there is a log in my own. I want to get to know myself and there's no better way to do that than to observe myself and the way I way I am inclined to act socially, emotionally, etc. I do believe that people are simple beings who involve themselves in a mess of drama. Enlightenment, just like what I am striving to do, involves removing myself from the drama, quieting myself, and making simple but earnest observations.

domestic(ated) escapades

For those of you who do not know, Laz is a friend from school and my roommate for the next two semesters. He looked like an exhausted dog when we picked him up at the train station just outside of Boston. Did I mention that he flew into New York, red-eye flight? Yes, we originally intended on picking him up and no we didn't actually pick him up....in New York at least. The poor guy had to buy a train ticket last minute because of car problems and then ride with us all the way into northern New Hampshire without a break in between. Oh and I probably should mention the dead body (and by that I mean 90 pounds of non-rolling luggage) that he carried with him all over New York, California, and various other places (6 states in total). He jokes in retrospect that his luggage is better traveled than a good majority of Americans. SO, for our trip.

Austin, Laz and I hiked up Mt. Washington. We stayed overnight in a strangely familiar campsite and almost paid an arm and a leg (out of Laz's suitcase, of course) to take the three of us back down the mountain after we'd exhausted ourselves on the climb. Driven by our insatiable desire for an awaiting lobster dinner, we arrived at our friend Chelsea's house, but not before unnecessarily circumnavigating the range of White Mountains, getting lost and ending up in Massachusetts again, and nearly having a showdown with a senile moose. You would hardly know that we had just a few hours earlier stood triumphantly at the mountain's (peak, summit, climax, zenith, pinnacle, crest---we had a heated debate about which term was correct on the journey up) by the state of our sorry selves when we arrived at Chelsea's. We slept soundly.

instinct vs. appetite

I heard a wise man once say that while man's violent nature can never be mastered (ultimately girdled), it is not a flaw in design but rather a blessing in disguise. If a man's house was being attacked, it is the same violent nature that would cause him to rise up and protect his family. Therefore protect and attack are both instinctual brain commands and violence is the root of both. This is a quite insightful theory and hearing him continue on with his complex logic, I couldn't help but consider man's social nature--doing things for a fellow's respect. Protection is without exception admired by a reasonable man, while the instinct to attack is only admired as the exception, perhaps during a conquest. Why is this if they are both innocent and similarly natured?

I think that attacking is a matter of will, while the desire to protect often acts in spite of will. However, appetite is an instinct too. This is integral to the human creature and God created man to have passions and appetites, hungers--these all make love possible (now Satan has objectively learned about man's instincts and uses them, making the instincts look evil, while they are not. A man will look at a girl and quickly his appetite will grow and he will feel hungry and either desire his appetite curved or satiated, but the fact that he has sexual inclinations is not evil... no those appetites are instinct. <--this has limitless implications). Violence can be a hunger in the way that lust can seek "a good meal." A man can hunger and thirst for righteousness, right? so why can he also not thirst after a rush in the height of superiority?