Defined Worship

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. 2 Samuel 22:2-3


Oh Praise Him all the earth; proclaim His goodness from the heights! Sing aloud with passion and joy for He is our deliverer and His faithfulness has settled the troubled sea. I was lost and now I am found, returned home—and so let the whole world join together their hands and voice in one accord; let us please our God, maker of the heavens and earth and all that is good; for His delight is in our fullness and our salvation! He is both the shield which protects me and the horn which proclaims His joy in salvation. Let us in return proclaim from the east to the west His glorious name!

Is that not what worship is, the righteous bearers of God’s name held in the deepest gratitude, shouting to the four corners of the earth? And yet so often such a combination of words sounds so doctored? Instead of altering my praise I rather say: Let all see; let the lost sheep examine my life that they may see and hear the never changing but ever active song of salvation, the work of my Lord. The salvation of the ages, we together with the saints, shall see the Lord as redeemer. Earth once trembled by the weight of His spender and so it does now, ever turning.

In song I closed my eyes and found myself swept away, my imagination surrendered, among a great cloud of witnesses; joy was present in the form of all senses. Tangible, visible joy which would have confounded this world as I know it—and there I stood, part of a light like nothing I had ever seen. Suddenly I saw something I could not escape from. Beaming eyes and brilliant robes penetrated my heart and a myriad of angels enraptured my imagination as I fell to my knees, suddenly alone. Tears filled my eyes but any emptiness was soon filled with a music, which dancing about my ears, circulating about me. And I looked up to a hand which lifted me to my feet. And it was He, smiling. At that very moment I knew salvation, so undeserved. It was the hand that lifted me, the very hand which bore such stripes and pain. And though my sins once nailed Him, no guilt remained for I was home—and so should the praise continue.

Each song which tells the story of salvation, Christ lies at the center of. We have been given, each distinctly, a story which tells of our comings and goings, our losings and winnings, and most importantly of the final victory to which we proclaim the name Christ! And to each is given, his own life of worship and his own transformed heart; it is a gift more precious than anything the world could and will ever offer, the gift of unity made possible through the cleansing blood of Christ. Life is a zealous story of victory and worship is a mere giving back, the people called to be saints whom I will call brother shoulder to shoulder.

....but...why?

Is asking "why?" dangerous? ...It is, sometimes, depending on your expectations.

God works in mysterious ways, and His character is made clear in the Bible, but the way He works remains largely a mystery. I had a conversation with my friend's dad about this and came to the conclusion myself that, although you can have faith and pray for something, really the best thing you can do (in addition to praying in faith) is ask God to help you understand why He worked the way He did in this situation; why things happened the way they did.

However, I began to think about how dangerous asking "why?" is. It is because I personally like to know things NOW, rather than later (It's the reason that Wikipedia can send me on so many rabbit-trials--a lot of subjects just catch my interest and I want to know it all, now). I also know that the information I do receive is rarely enough; and thus, always wanting more evidence, I'll begin to doubt, even the very tenets of my faith. Verification and the desire for empirical evidence can become an appetite like any other; that's why I believe some of the theological arguments that take place are unprofitable--because more evidence doesn't ever prove anything; it just provides due cause for doubt. And clearly, some things we're never going to know; should we have faith enough to allow it to be released in God's timing? I know that the universe is so infinitely big and our scope is so infinitesimally small that there will always be enough reason for two conflicting ideas to be true, at least as people perceive (and just speaking philosophically, one perception is equal and not greater than another perception); it's the nature of paradox, or as I would like to say, our limited understanding!

To be clear and conclusive, I believe you should ask God why, but you should not get angry when you don't get enough information (because, by definition of appetite, hunger is natural). A person should seek to get more information, but learn to accept our finiteness.

lifting my hands

Who else gets distracted while worshiping God in public places? It's such a horrible thing to say, but I sometimes do. I sometimes quiet my voice if I hear an off-key note or if I am surrounded by people that look like they could potentially want me to be quiet... When I lift my hands up, I rarely don't care what people think and when I close my eyes, my imagination rarely transforms beyond my blank eyelids. I think it's funny when people talk about worship and reference Jesus' quote to the woman at the well in John chapter 4. "My people will worship in spirit and in truth." I think people misrepresent this terribly when they speak of how we should worship Christ, in our spirits. That's silly to me.
I believe that part of the beauty of being human in earthen vessels is having the limitations of humans and challenging and exploring those limitations without getting hyper-spiritual. I think that we worship with our senses to honor the bodies that God made us with. They are, after all, what enable our spirits to act; I believe that any limitations of the spirit are only those of the body (but this is tangential). And here's back to my original point, inhibition in worship. I've felt it and so have you (if you're anything like me).
Is it supposed judgment? I'm not really sure to be honest. There's a few things I have learned though. I know that sometimes I will think to myself during a song, "I wonder how "so-and-so" likes this song" or "I wonder what he's thinking." That's one of my main inhibitions, thinking about other people when I have my time a lone with God. It seems only natural as worship is communal and guided/instructed by a leader that freedom would be hard to experience, but it doesn't have to be that way. Did God intent for there to be litany in services? For songs to go through once and the chorus to repeat twice and the last two lines to repeat again and perhaps again...? I believe God does, at times, direct the praises of His people, only so it is performed "in a fitting and orderly way" (1 Cor 14:40).
I know that if you do care about the people around you in worship, one of the best things you could possibly do for them sometimes is to ignore them and have your "alone" time with God (clearly, worship isn't always alone time). That's sometimes where your imagination comes into play; it doesn't exist so you can shut everybody else out of your worship; imaginations, sanctified imaginations exist so we can invite God into our worship. Psalm 22:3 does say that God inhabits the praises of His people--and that suggests that people praising together was how it was meant to be. Extolling the NAME of Christ is fulfilled when God catches you up in that moment and you open your eyes and realize that this is what Christianity is about. It's not about the inhibitions, but it's about the unity of believers lifting up Christ's NAME.

I know there's so many questions regarding worship, expectations and no expectations. I just know that in worship, I remember what my faith is all about. It's so encouraging to to see people really trying to do what's right. As a side and closing note, I think I'm starting to realize something: when someone is really offering his/her life in a single act, he/she will not refuse help. Worshiping God is hard. When someone refuses help, it's just he/she doing his/her own thing. Don't let it discourage you; commonly people do their own thing most of the time.

pointings towards truth..

Mercy points towards truth. This in all my reason (as the Holy Spirit guides my Scripture reading, etc.) this is the conclusion I've come to for now. I realize that I can logic my way towards truth and for me, truth can be settled in myself, but when I deal with others, it isn't fact that points to truth; it's some sort of deed. I'm still working through this logic, but it kinda makes sense to me. A counselor should be quick to listen and slow to speak, quick to show mercy and quick to reserve judgment.

a random quote picked from a conversation

People that seek out a treasure are at one point or another disillusioned by its allure. People that look around and find a treasure in what they already have are the treasure hunters in my book.

cultivating for growth

growth in church, just like growth anywhere else cannot be forced. What's it mean then to cultivates soil? Well, it's giving to soil the best environment to grow; it's being focused solely on making sure you do everything in your power to provide the right environment that something may grow in. Not focused on the growth (and that means not being focused on the success), but being focused on doing the best at what you do (as the farmer).

So the two things introduced were a correct environment and the hard work/mastery required to provide the proper conditions. To do that you have to know the soil type, you have to know what external forces influence what you have control over. A proper environment that may stimulate growth is not only non-hostile, it is honest, caring and serving/giving. In the short term, things can grow if you care about the success of it; however, one thing to consider is that God defines success very differently than humans do. A successful "anything" allows God to use it and allowing God to work..cuz sometimes God doesn't want things to work out... a right environment is hard thing to cultivate, but it should be at highest priority.

a new thought on responsibilities

I was under the misguided understanding that as an unhitched college student I have very few, if not any, responsibilities. Again, this was misguided. I was wrong and I don't mind admitting it.
Of course, legally I can justify so many immoral things with almost minimal effort, but this isn't really how I (or anyone else if I may venture a guess) want to live my life.
If a person doesn't do what God wants him/her to do, sure he/she is affected, but who else is directly and indirectly affected, too? If Joshua never and faith, Israel would have never seen the promise land. There, clearly an entire nation is affected by the choice of one man. Here, however, is a new example (which I heard from Andy Stanley). If Esau, not having children at this point, took his identity very seriously, he wouldn't have sold his birthright for a bowl of stew. His children wouldn't have lived in constant warfare; neither would their children have. And the Messiah who would redeem the entire world would have come from his line. Instead of curses and hatred from the Lord, Esau would have been blessed as the firstborn grandson of Abraham. So, who is affected now? Your children! Your children who you will one day never want to hurt and want the best for. Their best will now only be the half battered future which you laid a foundation for. It's a sobering thought and it's all related to a silly bowl of stew.
It was one of the worst trades in the history of mankind, but to Esau when he traded it, it wasn't bad at all. Esau thought he was going to die of starvation. And here's the thought even further... we all would have sold our birthright. Of course we would have if it was the right bowl of stew. If it would satisfy the right appetite--I see it all the time. Marriages fall to pieces because stupidly one sees a bowl of stew and at that moment forget his/her children. He/she forgets the legacy that will ensue and such a beautiful strong thing such as marriage is NOT WORTH A BOWL OF STEW!

gracefully spoken words.. apology

I have to admit something. I have been not only neglecting my blog and making new posts, but I've also been doing it selfishly. This world has many cooks and is searching for chefs, the guys who have the ideas. For a while, I hesitated putting up lyrics beacuse I feared they were compromised online; I also didn't post certain thoughts because they were my favorite thoughts. I have ideas, but how often do I forget theat these very ideas come into my mind and not other minds only by the grace of God? My stuardship over the thoughts that God gives me is really directly related to the value I place over these thoughts. My originality and creativity as well; one day I could wake up and my ability to think could be very much gone!

No, my blog should be to encourage, to urge and spur people towards what is right, and it shouldn't be "me" centralized. Afterall, I originally started it to be an encouragement to anyone who may happen to stumble upon it. I guess I've just noticed a pattern in my writing, it's getting cockier and more obnoxious. That's really not what I want someone who takes time out of their life to read my words to come away with, thoughts about what a nice idea I have. I wish to communicate gracefully the art in my emotional labor. Art is, after all, a gift! If art ceases to be a gift, I think that it ceases to be art. The fact that is given at a great cost to the artist is the value that changes the culture, not the thing itself. Just think about people who copy the Mona Lisa ten times a day with oil paint to turn over a profit. that's not art; that's just a sad misrepresentation of the true inpired work.

men who think they're boys, ba!

Alright I had this crazy thought. Apparently a recent study was put out saying that the Reed Sea was parted during Israel's departure from Egypt because of a massive wind current... The only thing I have to say to that is...maybe. I could hardly imagine a wind that would blow thousands of gallons of water and leave the people "unblown" by the wind.
Here's how it must have happened though: you know that staff that the LORD gave to Moses? Yeah, right! That was an airbending staff, like the one from nickelodeon's Avatar: the Last Airbender. And Moses wasn't just an ordinary bender, he was the Avatar of the age... think about it. He lived as royalty until one day he decided to embrace his own people (maybe because among his people was a master to teach him?). He also broke apart rock and caused water to come out of it (waterbending and earthbending); and come on, how impossible would it be to create a squirting rock fountain, which all of Israel could drink from and be satisfied? Really really impossible. That is unless he was a waterbender.
Moses made one mistake though, he struck the rock and got angry, thus unable to enter the promise land. Now what does the new testament say? The Rock was Jesus. That and.. Jesus also met with Moses and Elijah on the Mount of Transfiguration, where he may have reached (enlightenment of some sort). Kind of like in Avatar when Aang was able to meet with the Avatars of the past for counsel. Crazy eh? all the connections? Jesus and Moses, and Elijah.. all Avatars. Who woulda thunk?

**P.S. This is very much a joke

muchadoabout nothing

Of late, I've tried writing a few blog posts, but each of them seemed to be engrossed in a bit too much "me" and not enough truth; so here's some truth, haha. "It is not good to have zeal without knowledge" (Prov 19:2). Last year, I wanted to be an RA, but the door was not opened. This year I wanted an internship and I got four, but none of them are seeming to work out. Where at once I may have felt all the control in the world and acted, now I feel an absence of control in almost every regard. The direction of my life is not in my hands; I still do not have a cosigner for my loans (and I can't sign em myself) and the direction of my life would change very dramatically were I to leave school. Part of me always wants to prove reason wrong saying "I can do it even though people say I can't." That's why I like doing things that are a bit dangerous per se; however, it's also what has lead me to do many challenging things, like erecting a porch and laying down a hard wood floor in a barn and that same motivation leads me to become passionate. Because for the most part this is true for everyone: zeal and self-worth are often connected--also life direction is closely tied to where one's passion and self-worth merge (what you think you're good at).

But guess what. It's imprudent to have direction and passion when it's the wrong direction to lead and become passionate about. What's college? That place to find that lead? Nope, not always. Believe it or not, college is man's institution for man's pathways (which God sometimes/often uses...i think) and recently I've felt that I would have more direction in my life were I to leave school. It is not good to have zeal without knowledge "...nor to be hasty and miss the way" (Prov 19:2b)...... As helpless and hopeless as I do feel, I believe where I am in life is a means to an end, and an end to a beginning of a crazy journey, which will have lows-and-highs: highs of the LORD's glory and lows to make me stronger. Such times of decision and lows (also the highs too) are times not to depend on flesh (Jer 17:5) but times to humble myself and appeal as a being that has embraced wisdom enough to not make the same mistakes twice (more like 100x).

consumerist friends

friends use one another, no? I'm not quite convinced of this truth yet, though there is truth to it...We live in a generation that throws out plastic utensils after using them...because washing them would be too difficult (and there may not be anything implicitly wrong with this mentality). however, there is a danger in sifting between friends depending on their pragmatic/intrinsic value at a given moment. making plans is rarely a group activity, though sometimes you can be proactive in inserting yourself in a happening of friends that has already pulled themselves together. I'm not convinced yet that there is anything inherently wrong with inviting yourself along especially regarding the way most plans are formed, informally...ironic eh? informally formed plans, ha!

so what does this say for those who aren't active in making plans and involving themselves--they're often left out. it is a pity, but society moves too fast to even remember them... even at Gordon, it is ridiculous just how many people do fall between the cracks and just how few people care about them. it takes proactivity on behalf of those creating the plans to ensure that such people are included, because, hey it could be (and most likely has been at one point or another) you. :)

the LORD spoke and it was

...sound: it was what came forth from God's mouth when He formed the mountains and designed the heavens....but is that true? Was sound perceivable? ...Now, if a tree falls in the woods (I'm kidding--that would be an odd direction to go in with this blog)....

Instead I want to look at God's word in wonder that perhaps each "thing" was not limited to a single dimension. What came forth was perhaps something that could be seen and heard, touched and felt--had there been cognizant awareness to perceive it. I was conversing with my good friend (Chelsea) last night and it brought me to thinking: perhaps God's transcendence allows him to create an essence, which exists in every (known and unknown) dimension and the effect of each object's existence has a delicate in-working with each other object. Like, light not only allows our eyes to see, its waves create such a white ultrasonic noise that actually carry the sound waves of other sounds. And its particles push along smells and carry energy (heat), which can in turn be felt. Light also has the ability to turn someone's day right around; while conversely, the absence of it may create a nice balance between "depressed" and "self-centered."

But here's the thought: we humans think that we are so special because we can smell things of substance and hear things that vibrate; but imagine this: imagine a smell, which you can touch and a color that you can smell. We humans are the medium of perception as we know it (only the dimensions we are aware of)... but imagine if we were acutely aware of the objects as they were created by God, those superseding dimension. Imagine actually "smelling the color 9" (cf. Chris Rice).

an elected responsibility?

Recently, I've talked to a few friends about the concept of responsibility and what a responsibility truly entails. I know that there are two types of responsibility and I believe they shouldn't be confused for one another: there's the responsibility that exists by the nature of commitment and the type of responsibility each person uniquely holds by nature of the relationships that he/she finds him/herself in. So, in other words, there is both the type of responsibility that you have because you felt the desire/need (or even the innate responsibility) to commit yourself to (like a elected position or less directly, a job) and also the natural responsibilities as a man/woman would have to his/her family (also, a job could fall into this category as well); these are the responsibilities a decent person wouldn't deny, though they may be argued in the sense that natural rights/obligations exist only under a unique set of circumstances (i.e. oral contract--promises). **This is a highly debatable topic and I have debated it, but my post is simply my musings on the topic as they directly relate to my life**

The relationship between the two types of responsibility is where I wish to focus my attention... Natural responsibility should take precedence over not only personal desire but also over elected responsibility. By the nature of responsibility I believe that both commitments (natural and elected) are truly important (and as I pointed out, there are responsibilities that fall into both categories--such as when a father becomes a father, he may have become one by choice but it becomes his natural responsibility); here's the thing though: when you are overwhelmed, it is not your natural responsibilities that have to give. There is another pair of feet to fill the shoes of "most elected" jobs, but God created a person and chose where he/she would live and the unique relationships he/she would have and that is no mere statement to be overlooked.

When I make a promise to someone, by golly, it becomes my elected responsibility (responsibility is still a strong concept whether elected or natural) to see my words through; but really, as I see it, things come up and taking a person's words at face value without understanding that sometimes "things happen" has a coercive nature. I am trying a new thing out, living out this proverb: It is better not to make a promise, than to break it. Even my natural responsibilities can become overwhelming and since I have the uncanny ability of allowing others to use me co-dependently, I have started to monitor the things I say--hopefully leaving no chance for error in interpretation (wishful thinking, I know!). For such a reason, I am trying to abstain from close intimate relationships of the opposite gender, simply because I know that I am not ready for it; even my natural responsibilities can overwhelm me, never mind another (elected) responsibility, which, let me say, takes a whole lot of work! (Not to mention that I am refusing a few leadership positions offered to me at this time just so I can get my priorities in line, my ducks in a row as some would say). Well, yeah, everybody has responsibilities and with them come dependencies--you are not a free being as long as you live--sorry to break it to you. All I am saying is that priorities ought to be ordered!

Whattocareabout?

Being back at school, I am left to reevaluate the way in which I do things and why I do the things I do. Basic psychology says that a person's instincts never change. An introvert will always be inclined towards being an introvert and same with an extrovert (this is a less than perfect illustration of what i mean by "instinct"). I guess one thing I am striving to learn this semester is myself (because logic would tell me that my instincts never change, so all I really have to do is learn my instincts rather than form them)! The day I become an expert about Kyle; let go of all my false pretenses, which come with retrospective analysis; and actively seek to better myself of the sin (not personality faults) which corrupt my character, is the day I will truly know myself; thus I shall give the devil a run for his money. (cf. my instinct vs. appetite article two blog-posts lower)

I believe that a person succumbs to peer pressure because he does not know his limits and isn't self confident in his ability/desire to say "no." I do however know that almost 100% of children vow at one time or another in their life (perhaps when going through D.A.R.E.) to not give into the things which so ineluctably await them. therefore, one should assume that when a person learns about himself and quits living passively, he'll be much stronger of an individual. To tangent, I have studied and thought a lot about the process of enlightenment recently because it is believed that enlightenment comes from within and it is an act to which the "self" becomes evident. Enlightenment isn't a mystical concept, except thast it is the Holy Spirit who reveals rather that the "all."

So here's my plan: I will learn to listen to other people and not wait with something to retort. I will listen and invest my time to a select few individuals this semester and grow together with them. But lastly, I will not use any foreknowledge I have to "remove the speck from my neighbor's eye" because, I admit, there is a log in my own. I want to get to know myself and there's no better way to do that than to observe myself and the way I way I am inclined to act socially, emotionally, etc. I do believe that people are simple beings who involve themselves in a mess of drama. Enlightenment, just like what I am striving to do, involves removing myself from the drama, quieting myself, and making simple but earnest observations.

domestic(ated) escapades

For those of you who do not know, Laz is a friend from school and my roommate for the next two semesters. He looked like an exhausted dog when we picked him up at the train station just outside of Boston. Did I mention that he flew into New York, red-eye flight? Yes, we originally intended on picking him up and no we didn't actually pick him up....in New York at least. The poor guy had to buy a train ticket last minute because of car problems and then ride with us all the way into northern New Hampshire without a break in between. Oh and I probably should mention the dead body (and by that I mean 90 pounds of non-rolling luggage) that he carried with him all over New York, California, and various other places (6 states in total). He jokes in retrospect that his luggage is better traveled than a good majority of Americans. SO, for our trip.

Austin, Laz and I hiked up Mt. Washington. We stayed overnight in a strangely familiar campsite and almost paid an arm and a leg (out of Laz's suitcase, of course) to take the three of us back down the mountain after we'd exhausted ourselves on the climb. Driven by our insatiable desire for an awaiting lobster dinner, we arrived at our friend Chelsea's house, but not before unnecessarily circumnavigating the range of White Mountains, getting lost and ending up in Massachusetts again, and nearly having a showdown with a senile moose. You would hardly know that we had just a few hours earlier stood triumphantly at the mountain's (peak, summit, climax, zenith, pinnacle, crest---we had a heated debate about which term was correct on the journey up) by the state of our sorry selves when we arrived at Chelsea's. We slept soundly.

instinct vs. appetite

I heard a wise man once say that while man's violent nature can never be mastered (ultimately girdled), it is not a flaw in design but rather a blessing in disguise. If a man's house was being attacked, it is the same violent nature that would cause him to rise up and protect his family. Therefore protect and attack are both instinctual brain commands and violence is the root of both. This is a quite insightful theory and hearing him continue on with his complex logic, I couldn't help but consider man's social nature--doing things for a fellow's respect. Protection is without exception admired by a reasonable man, while the instinct to attack is only admired as the exception, perhaps during a conquest. Why is this if they are both innocent and similarly natured?

I think that attacking is a matter of will, while the desire to protect often acts in spite of will. However, appetite is an instinct too. This is integral to the human creature and God created man to have passions and appetites, hungers--these all make love possible (now Satan has objectively learned about man's instincts and uses them, making the instincts look evil, while they are not. A man will look at a girl and quickly his appetite will grow and he will feel hungry and either desire his appetite curved or satiated, but the fact that he has sexual inclinations is not evil... no those appetites are instinct. <--this has limitless implications). Violence can be a hunger in the way that lust can seek "a good meal." A man can hunger and thirst for righteousness, right? so why can he also not thirst after a rush in the height of superiority?

a teetotaler among drunkards is not esteemed, part 3

I don't remember where I was going with this before, but I can wrap up one thought. I was at a family get together last night and was grilled with a hundred and one questions about what I believed in and was lectured on why it just was senseless to believe the way I did. When asked what I was in college for, I would reply "youth ministry in an urban setting" -- to help adolesents in dangerous situations-- I don't live in an urban setting now, but if I did move there, I would face the same dangerous situations.

"Why would you do that? That's mindless, that is. Do what you want to do, what pleases you." (because my family assumes this is not what I want to do)

I'd reply "Now most every young girl as she grows will dream of having her own child/ren one day and the moment her dream becomes reality, her priorities must change. It's no longer "I want to care for this child"; it's partially obligation, "I must nurture this child". And at that very moment, her life is no longer her own. Going into an urban setting, I make the same sacrifice, just a little bit more consciously; plus after some time, my life may lead me elsewhere while a mother's job shall never cease."

That makes sense to me, and I think that on any other occasion it would have made sense to my listeners as well, but it was late and everyone had a few drinks. And here's the confusing bit: my audience could have believed the exact same thing I did and they could still be fools. Why? It is the reason and not the thing itself, which makes a fool. I know I'm not foolish if I have a justifiable reason for the things I am doing. **Now I know this raises questions on who qualifies justice, but let's forget that for now** But simplistically, a person who lets others define his actions and shape his decisions might as well be a marionette dangling from six strings and nobody likes that prospect.

the comedy of errors

After visiting Stratford upon Avon and Oxford (among others, i.e. Salisbury Plains, Betws y Coyd) I realize that I have many misconceptions about England, which no explaining over a blog can clear up. So so many misconceptions about Oxford in particular and learning about it has been quite a privilege.

On campus at Oxford (which isn't actually a university per se--it is a town/community of 42 colleges) there are 16,000 students enrolled and even more tourists. The way it works is as follows: When you apply to a certain college in the Oxford community, tutors from different colleges exchange information and meet to consider everyone applying to study their subject, to ensure that the best candidates get places, whichever college they chose. As well as your college of preference (or allocated college, if you make an open application), another college may also interview you and perhaps offer you a place. When you are enrolled (not at Oxford University, but rather a specific college) you are allowed to take classes of the arts and sciences in any college in the university's community.

However, on two occasions (when you matriculate and graduate) you are brought through a common building owned by Oxford University (not a particular college) called the Chaldean Theatre. They also take their examinations in a common hall, probably the most feared building on all of Oxford's High Street. Students wear full academic accoutrements (subfusc) during these occasions and when they've been found to have mastered the teachings, they graduate from "College" Oxford University. (I.e. Magdelen Oxford University) This is where I want to attend a few classes (pronounced Maudlin) for the exchange program I am enrolling in next year. One thing that really stuck out to me as superb is the tutorial system of fellows they have. Twice a week a student will meet with his/her fellow and argue a thesis until the fellow decides the argument is adequate. This way, a student will gain teaching skills and absorb the material better. Really, this is what Oxford University aims for: masters of subjects, not recipients of degrees.

a teetotaler among drunkards is not esteemed, part 2

Last off, I said "character traits are not revered cross culturally, and therefore cannot be universal" and "a fool thinks himself wise, and all men (not just wise men) have the ability to think others are fools." So who's the fool?? the one who swims against the current or the one who happily swims with it. "Fool" certainly is a relative term, because certainly no one considers himself one and certainly everyone considers different people foolish. The judgments are rarely in agreement.

To make matters more confusing, the practical definition of sanity is culturally defined. Therefore insane (like the movie Shutter Island illustrates so effectively) is objective and whether you fit the category or not is not your decision.

So, here's the deal: a wise man looks a fool to a group of fools. But a fool can be completely sensible. Everything he wants in life, he may succeed in. A pleasure seeker is often quite skilled at finding pleasure, but that isn't enough to make someone a fool and pleasure is not in itself bad, as though to be avoided. Asceticism can often be foolish. (i.e. to the majority of the world, pious religious leaders look like they don't even enjoy life).

So who's right? The one who follows the crowd and has a good time at it or the one who goes against the crowd and still has a good time at it.... and does it really matter?

I'll continue later...

a teetotaler among drunkards is not esteemed

A prude and one who is prudent, they can be quite synonymous; however, being called a prude is rarely considered a compliment. It does (prude) have a noble past though. According to New World, the change for the worse took place in the French language. French prude first had a good sense, a "wise woman," but apparently a woman could be too wise or, in the eyes of some, too observant of decorum and propriety. Proud, high nosed and pretentious: they are all closer synonyms to the now derogatory term "prude." I say this because as I am growing older, I am coming to create my own moral absolutes and practical proverbs and in my thought prudence, I am often called this.

"You ain't a [insert last name here], Kyle," some members of my hosting relatives will jokingly say (Not that they are drunkards or that I disrespect their choices in any way haha). "Oh, they must have got it wrong at the hospital then, my mistake" I'll reply with a laugh. "I'll double check the birth records..." Such a response is enough for some members of my kin, but I have to get really creative in my retorts with others. The fact of the matter is that I don't like drinking alcohol; although, when legal, I will have a glass of light wine or similar.. and I have my reasons:
1. Most of my life, I will inhabit the body of an old man and every day that goes by increases the percentage of my life I will be "old." I want to be comfortable in my old age and I know that requires me looking after my young body; they are, after all, the same body.
2. I can have just as good of a time without drinking and after I have refused a refill half a dozen times, I get to enjoy myself while retaining sensible judgment.
There you have it; although I have a thousand more things to say on this matter, I'll save those for my next edition. My main point is that character traits are not revered cross culturally, and therefore cannot be universal. A fool will think himself wise cross-culturally, and all men (not just wise men) have the ability to think others are fools (in order to think yourself a wise-man, a comparison must be made in which you are the victor). I'll continue later.

"Your Career Boy!! Hurry Now; I Haven't Got All Day!"

In England, after grade school a student can enroll in sixth form college. Full-time primary education is compulsory for all children between 5 and 16 years and optionally one may then continue his or her secondary education for a further two years (sixth form), leading most typically to an A level qualification. Higher education typically begins with a 3-year Bachelor's Degree. Postgraduate degrees include Master's Degrees, either taught or by research, and Doctor of Philosophy, a research degree that usually takes at least 3 years (similar to in America). My point in saying this is that since most of my cousins (all similar age to me--a dozen or so) have forgone postgraduate education and have taken trades which provide on-the-job training, I've been asked a lot about my career/soon coming career.
"Well...." starts my long winded response as I think to myself, 'I need to condense this explanation. No one wants to hear this.' I continue, "I'm in college right now with a laundry list of credentials and aspirations for the future. I want to be a youth minister for a time and go to law school... oh write books and record music and build a house. I want to retire with a tea shop and conservatory filled with rare plants and books." --All of these things are true, but they're hardly the responses a person is looking for. I realize that life may take me in a million directions, but I really only have to speculate one at a time. So from now on, I'll say "Youth Ministry and wherever the wind blows."

But I do want to create a list of things I'd like to do at some point in life. So I'll get right on it.

Heritage and the Loss Thereof

My Grandad drives through the streets of Staffordshire, the old brick house he lived in with a glisten in his eye. His light hearted banter became strangely silent as he pulled past his childhood driveway. It's been years since he and his past have made such a strong reconnection... and I had the privilege of sharing it with him. As he came out of Cromer Rd. he turned his car and said "I'll take you to where your Nan lived." (She died when I was 11 and I can tell my grandad truly misses her) "Bloody hell, this drive seems longer than the walk used to be" he half-joked as the miles dragged on; his laugh was filled with heartache and his cough half-covered it. And there we arrived at my Nan's old terraced house.

Earlier that day, he noted how much everything costs, how the youth think money grows on trees, and how in his day "kids could have more fun we do without a halfpenny in their spending pocket." As much as England has been modernized and fit to look American, I think they've maintained a good deal of personality (from my American perspective). I was offered cereal, which offered an "American taste" and I noticed how the flea arket setting in their mall has changed since last time I had been. The culture my grandad so keenly remembered, was disappearing and I can attest to the small bit I remembered changing. Even England is slowly but surely losing its small cottage coziness and I already miss it. A good of it is empathy with my grandad, but there is truth to it. (Did I mention the fact that nearly every English teenager I've conversed with wishes he or she lived in America?!)

On a lighter note, there have been many wonderful blasts back into my past: english custard and toffee, english sweets and England's kooky spelling of her words. So many entees bring back such sweet delectable memories. Oatcakes, jelly, yorkshire pudding, all the other puddings (which in England is synonymous for dessert), and .. every single food that I would have no greater pleasure in than bringing them back home for my friends to experience. Alas 3 dozen oatcakes (which feeds a family for 3 meals) costs £65 to ship, which is about $100 in U.S. currency. The duty (taxes) makes it nigh impossible to send any postage (mail). And my friends shipping themselves over here is no cheaper

A Subcultural Study

Midlands, England. Though a good majority of my family calls this home, I have to call (on the telephone) to speak with them. I've been out here a hand's count, the last time being nine years ago, I believe. I say "out here" because I'm here now getting to know most of my family for the first time as an adult.... and I've been studying them--in a good way. I like their manners and their mannerisms, their hospitility and their general subculture. Granted, I may be shockingly biased, but if I do say so myself the common folk in England have good lives and have a good time at it.
Most of the problems in America, I believe, are political and social. I say this because I've noticed that England is "left-sided". Not necessarily politically, but in general interactions. Not only do they pass eachother on the left side of the road, but they also hug the left aisle in the grocery marts and while taking the stairs grasp the left handrail. When they talk to you, they shift their faces to the left and pass cups with their left hand. Me, trying to mimic their dialect and manners, have adopted several of these "left-sided" tendencies. I now hold my fork with my left hand and jab my food with the underside of my fork visible to eyes; I cut with my knife in the right.
This may have no relevant implications, but for the time being, it's giving me a good deal of "myrgth" as the english would say.

"...Lord, Make me Stronger"

Recently, a friend of mine told me about a sermon he heard at camp this summer. In this sermon, the speaker examined the difference between American believers and those in third world countries when faced with trials. Perhaps because we have adequite provision, when faced with trail, an American will ask, "Lord, make this load lighter." Someone who has dealt with a quantity of hardship is more inclined to ask, "Lord, make me stronger." Though this may contain a good deal of insight, it's not the point I wish to make. With this thought in mind, I caught myself thinking I'd like a lighter load.
Here's the story: every year I devote a weekend to work a Greek Festival at the Orthadox Church near our house. It's a lot of hard work. Under normal conditions, it's 14 hours of work each day (just a weekend- 3 days) and there are plenty of workers... so it's bearable. This year, the church decided they would hire less workers and the 2 workers helping me were 1. squeemish, and 2. indolent. On saturday, the busiest day, each of the 30 odd trash barrels we have to empty is scattered around the festival grounds and filled every 10 minutes after it was emptied; therefore, common math says each barrel had to be emptied every 20 seconds (not mentioning the four minutes it took to wheel the trash cart over to the dumpster). Clearly, though emptying trash seems like it's a mindless task, it takes a well-oiled machine to do it on this particular occasion (and I'm sure it's equally as well managed by those in the profession of waste management). I organized the bags each person would empty and even arranged breaks during the two hours of hype in which the most popular attractions are the garbage cans (as though the pope himself says "garbage... dump now"(that was an awful Catholic joke. I try to be funny; I swear. Btw, it's Orthadox, not Catholic... I know lol )).
Well, here's the thing, just the three of us were doing a good job, working hard--; the cart was centrally located. However, the break that my coworkers took lasted half an hour before I coincidentally lugged the cart past the two of them, who were talking with a guy parking cars. I didn't even say anything, but to add insult to injury, one sarcastically vociferated "Keep up the good work. How's for a round of applause!" over towards me. Then they clapped... and laughed (at me, not with me). Well there it is; I felt gross, I had been working hard, and I wanted to throw in the towel. And then that sermon came to mind--I swear you hear things in church or in conversation and read these things in Scripture to encourage you in these trying moments. At that moment, when I asked God for strength (strength is perceived and originates in the mind, not the muscles) with a full intention of finishing the night with or without help before I got to the dumpster, fireworks started. I laughed and smiled. That bit of motivation kept my spirits high for the rest of the night. And all I can say is, "God is good!"

in an effort against culinary ostinato

If I learned one thing during my Discovery camping trip at Gordon this last semester, it’s that (in extreme circumstances) crackers and just about any topping you can find taste amazing together. After hiking eight hours and exhaustively breaking for lunch, you’d think just about anything is edible—so my group tried some very strange combinations; you know the type of concoction you could imagine paying someone to eat back in grade school... these were worse.

One of the most popular bases to our concoctions was peanut butter; any combination you could possibly think of, we tried it. Peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and cheese, peanut butter and mustard (okay, I’ll stop there). However to my astonishment, some of these concoctions still taste good (under normal circumstances!!). Okay not all of them, but you can mix peanut butter with almost anything and create a new original recipe while retaining that distinct peanut butter taste. For example: coconut oil, chocolate syrup, hazelnut, vanilla extract, and maple syrup even tastes good in small quantities. Even chocolate chips make for an interesting sandwich (especially with banana)!

Those are among the few I made today as I tried to remedy the lack of interesting food in the house. Try it out; spice up the kitchen! (Actually I take that back. Please don’t add conventional spices to peanut butter. That would be horrendous.)

*Disclaimer—I take no responsibility for any foul-tasting first attempts. But I do take full responsibility for sandwiches, which bring happiness, haha